Thursday, August 20, 2009

Today

Today as I was holding Cayde as I do each day he was doing some rhythmic shaking that reminded me of when he was having some seizures about 6 weeks ago. It made me nervous. He was sleeping and I kind of jostled him a little and tried not to think much about it...until......we got his EEG results this afternoon saying he is indeed still having some seizure activity in his brain. I don't know why this is so hard for me after all that has happened, but I feel like this is breaking my heart... again...Today we made some good strides on getting his vent weaned then realize he is having seizures. My heart is aching. I hurt and honestly I am mad. MAD! (Breathe....1...2...3..4...5...6...7...It's not working!) LOL

Sigh.

We (Terah and I) did have a REALLY nice visit with Cayde today though. He is growing into such a big boy! We bathed him and dressed him in a super cute outfit and set him on my lap and he was just chillin with his eyes open for a while and just hanging out. It was lovely and fun and relaxing and good. (see facebook pictures soon)

Terah has been here for a week and she goes home tomorrow. I tried to tell her she will be missing her flight (same as I told Tawni when Tawni had to go home) and there won't be any more for at least another week. I am very blessed to have sisters that I am very close with, that I love and who love me. I love that my kids are close to their aunties. I think it's sad not everyone gets to have this experience of having sisters who are fabulous and fun and supportive and wonderful. But I am lucky to have them.

Please keep praying for my Cayde.

3 comments:

KCordell said...

Trisha,
I am missing you very much. You are in my thoughts and prayers. let me know if you need anything.

Lyndsey said...

hang in there, everything happens as it is supposed to, somehow someday Cayde will be fine and perfect, keep posting more...you will want them for memories of this rough time

Unknown said...

How fun to give him a bath and dress him. Those were my favorite things to do while Lukas was in the hospital. They made me feel like I had a little control over what was going on. Cayde is strong! I know it is hard. I know it sucks! But he is getting stronger and they are adjusting his meds. He is a fighter. Let me know if you need anything