Sunday, August 30, 2009

George

For Christmas this last year, we got Porter a Curious George Monkey (which I briefly wrote about) and my sister sent one to Allori. It was perfect. We could not have planned it better. And they are the cutest monkeys. Porter sleeps with his each night but goes through the nightly ritual of throwing him on the ground in anger, missing George then suckering me into picking him up and tucking him back into bed with Port.

Well Mom is tired of it. I am rather surprised that I let it go on this long really. (I am a rather strict parent if you hadn't picked up that, or if you don't know me well enough to know that.) So last night, I picked George up from his just-been-heaved-state, and put him on my shoulder and patted him to comfort him. This was of course a show for Porter to let him know it was not nice. For Heaven's sake! Porter's George has a crooked eye from being heaved so many times! I then explained it was not nice and he had hurt George's feeling's and George would be sleeping with mama tonight and we left.

Had we had earplugs in the house we may have used them, He was not happy with the new plan and had no reservations in letting us know. It took him a long time to go to sleep and I went in several times to re-explain why he did not get to have his George and hoped that my the next night he and Goerge could be reunited.

George was propped on a table in the living room while Wayne and I watched a movie last night and stayed there all night, happy I am sure to not be thrown needlessly against any heavy stationary objects. This morning after my bath I noticed George was gone. I asked Wayne and he had not moved George, so then I asked Port. He looked guilty so I told him to go get George. He went to his room and returned with George on his shoulder (like one would carry a baby) patting him softly and whispering sh...sh....sh....

Lesson learned. Lets hope it's remembered.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Freedom


On our street on the 4th of July every year, everyone lines up there camp chairs along the street and we all do our fireworks together. It's really a nice arrangement and makes for a much bigger show. This is the first time I got the kids matching shirts. I thought they looked super cute.

I love to celebrate our country. I think we are so blessed to live here and to have the rights and freedoms that we have. I love the people who serve our country and provide those freedoms.
I am so greatful for our military and all that they do and have done for us. (I know this isn't a very timely post, but important none the less. Everyone complains because of the lack of pictures on my blog so I am trying here people ok!)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wayne

Can I tell you what an amazing man I married? Too often I am too quick to complain about the little things, but boy when the big things come around, I would always choose him to be on my team. When we were in the hospital...oh I mean when I was in the hospital...it seems like it was a we cause the man never even thought of leaving me. (And I was there a full week!) A couple of times I asked him to go take care of arrangements for the kids but other than that he did not leave to eat, to sleep, to do anything....he was there for me 110%. It was so comforting knowing we were in this together. He never once complained and every moment made me feel like I was his number one priority. Even when the baby came, he made sure I was always taken care of. I don't know if I can explain to you or to him how comforting and wonderful this was for me. It was a scary time for both of us. But it was incredible to be a team and to have one another to lean on.

One morning he got in the shower and a few minutes later three nurses rushed my room. They scared me! One of them quickly asked if I was alright. I looked down at the call button/light and saw it was lit, I did not hit it so I was a little confused and said that yes, I was fine. I was trying to gauge the situation. I wasn't quite sure what was going on.

"Are you sure?"

"um, yeah."

"Is there anyone in the bathroom?"

"Um, yes my husband is in the shower." (Still VERY confused and nervous that we would get in trouble for him using the shower. We used the don't ask and hope for the best policy.)

She runs to the bathroom and turns the doorknob but does not open it, it was happening much too fast for me to process-you know with the pain meds and all. She let go of the handle but she grabbed it again and again let it go. Her face showed she was in tremendous turmoil. It was taking everything she had to NOT open that door. She asked through the door if he was ok and explained to him that he must have pulled the emergency string. Hahahaha. Still she is trying to turn the handle, it was very difficult for her not to go in. I teased Wayne that he was looking for some excitement...he almost got some too. (He would have been soooo embarrassed. Can you imagine a nurse walking in on a naked shy Wayne? Hahahah!)

Beachy

Doesn't this house look beachy and lovely? Not perfect and I am sure the bedrooms are itty bitty but it looks lovely to me.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Today

Today as I was holding Cayde as I do each day he was doing some rhythmic shaking that reminded me of when he was having some seizures about 6 weeks ago. It made me nervous. He was sleeping and I kind of jostled him a little and tried not to think much about it...until......we got his EEG results this afternoon saying he is indeed still having some seizure activity in his brain. I don't know why this is so hard for me after all that has happened, but I feel like this is breaking my heart... again...Today we made some good strides on getting his vent weaned then realize he is having seizures. My heart is aching. I hurt and honestly I am mad. MAD! (Breathe....1...2...3..4...5...6...7...It's not working!) LOL

Sigh.

We (Terah and I) did have a REALLY nice visit with Cayde today though. He is growing into such a big boy! We bathed him and dressed him in a super cute outfit and set him on my lap and he was just chillin with his eyes open for a while and just hanging out. It was lovely and fun and relaxing and good. (see facebook pictures soon)

Terah has been here for a week and she goes home tomorrow. I tried to tell her she will be missing her flight (same as I told Tawni when Tawni had to go home) and there won't be any more for at least another week. I am very blessed to have sisters that I am very close with, that I love and who love me. I love that my kids are close to their aunties. I think it's sad not everyone gets to have this experience of having sisters who are fabulous and fun and supportive and wonderful. But I am lucky to have them.

Please keep praying for my Cayde.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cool

On Saturday our neighbors were having a sweet sixteen and combined fifteen year birthday for their daughter. They are Hispanic and there is a very cool sounding phrase for this party and I can say it-I learned how, but cannot figure out how to spell it. It just translates to "fifteen year" I think but sounds very cool. Anyway, It had been a long day and I didn't have a gift for her and it looked more and more like I wouldn't be attending. But another neighbor called and was there and wanted me to come over for a bit so I decided to swing by. I had already gotten into comfy clothes so I quickly put my clothes from the day back on and headed over.

I was hugely under dressed to begin with, but really felt that just making it over for a few minutes was all I could do in that moment. As it turns out half of the guests were jsut as under dressed so...

As i arrived at the party house, I tried to store my cell phone in my shirt pocket. I try to always have it with me because that's the first number the NICU calls when they need me regarding my little Cayde. Oddly my two pocketed shirt was pocket less. Huh. It took me a minute of perplexion to realize my shirt was indeed inside out. LOL.

Your mind works quickly in situations like this. Do I go home and fix it? Do I find a dark corner of the yard and quickly turn it right side in? Do I care? In that moment I decided it wasn't worth the effort, so into the party I went with my inside out shirt. I don't know how many people noticed. I told several people. I am good with being the butt of the joke on occasion. We all laughed. One neighbor girl (teenager) noticed and was horrified. I laughed.

The whole thing was interesting to me, because if asked I would say my normal reaction would be what the teens response was. Horror~! To be seen or embarrassed by something like this would be the horror of horrors. I found it quite interesting that it didn't seem to bother me in that moment. Perhaps there are bigger things on my plate to worry about something like that? Perhaps a disregard for the prideful nature I have often times found myself in is setting in. Perhaps I just wanted to enjoy a bit of humor at a time I so desperately need it.

I was going to say that - You know you aren't cool anymore when you show up to a party with your shirt inside out.

But after putting this story into words I am thinking - I think it's pretty cool when people can laugh at themselves and avoid some of the stresses that can come with worrying about being embarrassed. Very few times in my life have I found myself in this camp. I generally sit in the worry about being embarrassed camp. This one was much more pleasant. I hope to revisit it a bit more frequently. That camp is more fun.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Swim time







Check out my cute swimmers. We didn't swim this summer nearly as much as we normally do but we got in the water a few times.

A Piece of Heaven

Me holding my tiny babies hand. I love to hold his hand. they are like magnets. sometimes I sill have my hand close to hima nd without even opening his eyes he will find my finger to hold. I cannot wait til Cayde is home with me. I want to hold him forever...well maybe not forever but for a good long time.

he is up to nearly 4 lbs. I want Michelle to come take beautiful pics of him but its hard with all the tubes and wires connected to him but he is going to be huge by the time he gets home! He already looks gargantuan in comparison.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Allori's phone book

A couple of days ago I noticed two pieces of paper on the computer desk. Both approximately the size of business cards, but noticeably cut by a child. ONe of them said "mom" and had my cell number on it. The other said "dad" and had his cell phone on it. I asked Wayne about them. She said Allori said she would like to have our phone numbers so she could call us when she needed to. Ok.hoguht that was reasonable. She often times talks to Wayne when he is at work or something, having been gone from home a long time. She doesn't talk to me much on the phone cause we are generally together. However, now that I have a baby in the hospital and I feel well enough to spend good quantities of time there, she has decided she misses me sometimes.

On Sunday she called me to ask why I had been gone so long. It made my day. Wayne told me she dialed my number alone, with him not even in the room that day.

The next day a new paper was on the computer desk. One larger sheet with both of our numbers on it. I guess she decided it was better to have them together.

This morning she decided she needed "grandma's number on there and aunties' numbers and other grandma and uncles'." Ok, So we started with a fresh sheet and I listed them all on there for her. The moment we were done she grabbed the phone and called Lori grandma, then she needed to talk to uncles so I suggested she call Auntie Tawni and ask for them. She dialed and went tot he kitchen to talk. When she returned only a few minutes later I asked if she talked to uncles. Exasperated she said, "No! She was too fast!" I guess she got off the phone too quickly and before Allori had completed her how are you's and did not get to ask for them. She wasn't so happy with that. LOL. She later asked for her cousin Lydia's to be put on the list (her best bud) and her new friends Hannah and Bethany.

She is 4. The calling starts already? So cute though. I love her!

(I have always had her talk on the phone to her grandma and aunties, etc. since we all live so far so the family ones name sense for sure. I guess she figured it's a good way to communicate. I found her "texting" on her play phone one day. too funny!)