...the makeup will make it out of my make-up bag and onto my face.
...my hair will be short enough to be manageable again.
I seem to have lots of energy-which is fabulous (considering the fibromyalgia!) but there is only so much to go around. This week it is going to kids, house and and enrichment. (Mucho time on each.)
But not one day this week has my face been made up and my hair is too long to me managed which means its just frizzy and I throw it up in a clip.
But here is what I can tell you. I feel amazing. I am so thankful i have energy. I love that my children have a mom to take care of them and that my house is in ok order-well its getting there. lol. I am grateful for friends and for husbands (mostly mine) and this week Diet Cherry Dr Pepper rates really high on the list. :) And this week my pain level is low. I am so so grateful for that!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Cayde pics
My sweet friend Michelle Cortez took some pics of Cayde and posted some on her blog. She is so fun! Thanks Michelle!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Peace Pipe
I think people are funny. I mean FUNNY.
Today my neighbor who through the Quinceanera a few months ago for her daughter- yes the same one I walked into with my inside out shirt-yes knowing it was inside out. It happens people....
They are Mexican. They are Catholic. I think both of those things are fine and I think I have made clear through the years as we have sat out on her or Charlene or Patty's or my front porch talking late into the summer nights. We are all very good friends. They are the kind of neighbor's one wants to have. The kind you can depend on, the kind you want to pack up and take with you when you move.
Tonight said neighbor knocked on my door with a gift for the baby and a prayer rug that had a little thing in English (not her first or best language) explaining you should write a small note asking for any blessing you need and you will be prayed for. Ok.
I took it from her. She was very nervous I could tell. She kept glancing at our picture of Christ on the wall. She kept asking if it was ok and saying she wanted to come sooner and telling me I did not have to do it. (Shouldn't this have been a peace pipe of sorts?) Her Jesus, My Jesus, they are the same man, no?
Thus she WAS nervous and I knew it must have taken her great courage to come. I did not write the note FOR her, but I did write the note. Look...I ain't turnin away any prayers. If you have one and you are willin to send it our way, I will take it.
Anyway I wrote her a note, she had someone else's note and made it very clear she was not only not reading it but not looking at it even. It was to be folded back up into the rug. (This did not concern me, but I thought i very sweet a gesture.)
Our other neighbor Charlene had told/asked her to light candles for Cayde. I appreciated that. Each and every one. I do not feel religion should be a stumbling block between us but a commonality, a way if no other that we can grasp hands and say...bless you....you are loved by someone higher and bigger and more powerful than me.
Today my neighbor who through the Quinceanera a few months ago for her daughter- yes the same one I walked into with my inside out shirt-yes knowing it was inside out. It happens people....
They are Mexican. They are Catholic. I think both of those things are fine and I think I have made clear through the years as we have sat out on her or Charlene or Patty's or my front porch talking late into the summer nights. We are all very good friends. They are the kind of neighbor's one wants to have. The kind you can depend on, the kind you want to pack up and take with you when you move.
Tonight said neighbor knocked on my door with a gift for the baby and a prayer rug that had a little thing in English (not her first or best language) explaining you should write a small note asking for any blessing you need and you will be prayed for. Ok.
I took it from her. She was very nervous I could tell. She kept glancing at our picture of Christ on the wall. She kept asking if it was ok and saying she wanted to come sooner and telling me I did not have to do it. (Shouldn't this have been a peace pipe of sorts?) Her Jesus, My Jesus, they are the same man, no?
Thus she WAS nervous and I knew it must have taken her great courage to come. I did not write the note FOR her, but I did write the note. Look...I ain't turnin away any prayers. If you have one and you are willin to send it our way, I will take it.
Anyway I wrote her a note, she had someone else's note and made it very clear she was not only not reading it but not looking at it even. It was to be folded back up into the rug. (This did not concern me, but I thought i very sweet a gesture.)
Our other neighbor Charlene had told/asked her to light candles for Cayde. I appreciated that. Each and every one. I do not feel religion should be a stumbling block between us but a commonality, a way if no other that we can grasp hands and say...bless you....you are loved by someone higher and bigger and more powerful than me.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Firecracker
Allori is so amazing in so many ways. First, she is fast becoming bi-lingual. I think she is the only gringa in her pre-school class. I love that she is learning Spanish! The other day I might have gotten a little upset because I hadn't heard her say please in English in months in seemed like. I don't know why it bothered me but it did ok? I place the blame squarely on hormones where it belongs!
She decided she was ready to ride her bike yesterday without training wheels so daddy and uncle Craig took them off for her. (pics are terrible but it was dusk and our digital is what it is ok?)
She only worked on it for about 10 or 15 minutes and we had no need for any runs to urgent care so that's not bad. She did yell directives at her dad the whole time. I do ask her to not yell and boss her dad and I try not to do that. I am bossy by nature as is my mother and her mother before her and my great grandmother before her. I am guessing the trend did not start there but you know...just a guess.
People it's in our genes. We know how to get things done. We can't help it.
It amazes me how bossy she is. I try to correct her and teach her to reign it in a bit. Whew! She is a fire cracker! How can she be so bossy and then be so shy in the next moment?
She has been doing this amazing art lately. I need to get a photo of some of it. She is taking pieces of nature and creating art, gluing it to paper and adding colors and making beautiful creative art. I LOVE it!Love it. Love her....My beautiful creative feisty firecracker. I am so glad I have her forever. I could stare at her beautiful person just that long.
She decided she was ready to ride her bike yesterday without training wheels so daddy and uncle Craig took them off for her. (pics are terrible but it was dusk and our digital is what it is ok?)
She only worked on it for about 10 or 15 minutes and we had no need for any runs to urgent care so that's not bad. She did yell directives at her dad the whole time. I do ask her to not yell and boss her dad and I try not to do that. I am bossy by nature as is my mother and her mother before her and my great grandmother before her. I am guessing the trend did not start there but you know...just a guess.
People it's in our genes. We know how to get things done. We can't help it.
It amazes me how bossy she is. I try to correct her and teach her to reign it in a bit. Whew! She is a fire cracker! How can she be so bossy and then be so shy in the next moment?
She has been doing this amazing art lately. I need to get a photo of some of it. She is taking pieces of nature and creating art, gluing it to paper and adding colors and making beautiful creative art. I LOVE it!Love it. Love her....My beautiful creative feisty firecracker. I am so glad I have her forever. I could stare at her beautiful person just that long.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
To shave or not to shave
I have a hypothetical story for you. Michelle and I used to tell lots of hypothetical stories in high school. LOTS. Approximately two of them were ever truly hypothetical. One of those was a fictional story she made up about me and a cab driver for a journalism assignment and I am throwing in another one to be safe although I cannot remember any others. General there was a reason for the story to be hypothetical.
The fiance has shaved every day since puberty or so the woman is told. She has never seen her fiance unshaven. On their wedding day however, her betrothed meets her in an unshaven manner
"What is this? You have not shaved on our wedding day?"
His eyes are as big as headlights for he has overlooked this chore on this very important day.
"Fix this!"
She really thinks it is quite sweet that he is so nervous....
Life gets busy and shaving gets less and less. His stubble gets soft on day 7 so he shaves it on day 6 just to torture her, certainly. lol.
One Christmas the wife buys her husband an electric razor. He explains that it does not give a very clean shave. He is not disrespectful or unkind just informative with this information. She expects to see the razor in the trash. But the worthless razor lives on to the wife's dismay. Hypothetically the husband has decided it is a good idea to spend 20 minutes doing a pre-shave then his normal 10 minutes shaving. Are you serious?
I do not know why he is testing me.
This morning as I was about to die from stress I started to laugh. LAUGH! Allori came and asked why I was laughing...I was crying so hard because I could not stop laughing. Finally my husband comes in after his THIRTY minute shave to ask why I was laughing I told him it was that or kill him dead. There was fist waiving and gut wrenching. I think the laughter and tears made them null and void. He was unclear what the issue was. A pre-shave? Seriously?
You understand...all of this is hypothetical....just wondering what you would do if you had a faulty appliance. ;)
The fiance has shaved every day since puberty or so the woman is told. She has never seen her fiance unshaven. On their wedding day however, her betrothed meets her in an unshaven manner
"What is this? You have not shaved on our wedding day?"
His eyes are as big as headlights for he has overlooked this chore on this very important day.
"Fix this!"
She really thinks it is quite sweet that he is so nervous....
Life gets busy and shaving gets less and less. His stubble gets soft on day 7 so he shaves it on day 6 just to torture her, certainly. lol.
One Christmas the wife buys her husband an electric razor. He explains that it does not give a very clean shave. He is not disrespectful or unkind just informative with this information. She expects to see the razor in the trash. But the worthless razor lives on to the wife's dismay. Hypothetically the husband has decided it is a good idea to spend 20 minutes doing a pre-shave then his normal 10 minutes shaving. Are you serious?
I do not know why he is testing me.
This morning as I was about to die from stress I started to laugh. LAUGH! Allori came and asked why I was laughing...I was crying so hard because I could not stop laughing. Finally my husband comes in after his THIRTY minute shave to ask why I was laughing I told him it was that or kill him dead. There was fist waiving and gut wrenching. I think the laughter and tears made them null and void. He was unclear what the issue was. A pre-shave? Seriously?
You understand...all of this is hypothetical....just wondering what you would do if you had a faulty appliance. ;)
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Touched
As an addendum to my melt down-
The most amazing people have been bringing us the most delicious dinners. I feel spoiled and supported and cared for and helped and thankful! Thank you!!!! I thank you, my family thanks you! (Everything has been so yum, can we have such good fortune?) :)
Boy this is a week of honesty, no?
We are sliding into a good routine. Moments hit me that seem too big but for the most part things are going smoothly...you know, if I don't have to cook or clean or go anywhere. Getting to church was HUGE! I was shaky and so nervous when we got there and I don't know why. I think I was nervous everyone was going to be sick and want to touch the babe. (Everyone including strangers were all touchy touchy when I had Allori-it was weird.) And of course I DO want to show Cayde off....it's just finding a balance. :)
People there is something to be said for being a little bit touched. ;) (I think I am so funny)
The most amazing people have been bringing us the most delicious dinners. I feel spoiled and supported and cared for and helped and thankful! Thank you!!!! I thank you, my family thanks you! (Everything has been so yum, can we have such good fortune?) :)
Boy this is a week of honesty, no?
We are sliding into a good routine. Moments hit me that seem too big but for the most part things are going smoothly...you know, if I don't have to cook or clean or go anywhere. Getting to church was HUGE! I was shaky and so nervous when we got there and I don't know why. I think I was nervous everyone was going to be sick and want to touch the babe. (Everyone including strangers were all touchy touchy when I had Allori-it was weird.) And of course I DO want to show Cayde off....it's just finding a balance. :)
People there is something to be said for being a little bit touched. ;) (I think I am so funny)
Love me, Love me not.
(This was written yesterday and sat here until I just found it not posted. Such are the days of my life.)
Ok, so I think my 24 hour melt down is over..THANK GOODNESS. (Phew)
I think it was like a 24 hour flu bug. Do they have a shot for that? (Oh wait, I have Katie for that!!!! he he! Man she takes good care of me! I have no idea how I could have made it though this without her!)
We are getting into the swing of things. Don't be expecting any quick trips out for toilet paper or anything but spirits are back up (Again phew!) thanks for all the great continued support! This little guy is so cute. And Allori and Porter just love him. I left the room for not more than 30 seconds and Cayde was screaming bloody murder a day or two ago so I go running back in and Porter is force feeding him a dum-dum sucker. Thank you Porter for sharing. *sigh*
Allori is playing soccer. I use the word playing very loosely. lol. She is excited about it all day every day until we get to practice or a game at which point she does very little. This feels like deja vu of swim lessons and dance lessons although somehow she has fond memories of both and begs to go back and did actually learn things. At those two however, she did NOTHING! So I guess we are making progress. At Soccer a moment may hit her that she suddenly gets into it and does great for a second half of practice or 5 minutes of a game. Why oh why was she not blessed with a mother who has one iota of patience? Poor poor child.
Porter is still two. lol. Force feeding babies candy and screaming at me every chance he gets. Today he got mad at Wayne for taking him off the playground at the soccer game, we get into the car and he talks all sweety sweety to Wayne and is hitting and screaming at me. It looked like he remembered that he was mad, just simply not WHO he was mad at. I love my life. I did not say a word to him or even touch him(this time). We are seeing more and more behavior issues come out in him the older he gets. It makes me a little nervous. Not nervous to adopt him, just nervous for the energy it will take.
Once we had Jena and Juliana "diagnosed" we, or I should say I was doing weekly therapy sessions with each one, etc. etc. It takes much more one on one parenting when there are "issues." Plus it takes away time fromt he other children. This weighs heavily on my mind. At what cost is this to Allori? to Cayde? We are thinking that since Ports caretakers were mostly women that neglected him, even though he was little, he may me displacing that on me...? Plus I am the main disciplinarian (not by choice but by luck or lack of luck or because I feel I owe it to the kids or because thats how our personalities fall or some combination of the a fore mentioned) in our house. What's odd is Port thinks I am wonderful if Wayne is not around but if Wayne is there/here I am worse than dirty underwear in a dirty rain gutter. It's not the most pleasant feeling but we generally keep it in perspective. LOL
So here's what makes me nervous. We don't know if Cayde will be special needs but Porter looks more and more like he will be every day and right now Cayde certainly is. Can I be the mother to two special needs boys, both of whom I adore?
That's really a rhetorical question. There is no turning back now. (Right?) You simply cannot unlove someone once you love them. But you can feel fear. Luckily we have faith to lean on....
I love that song that says "believers have a little more faith than the world has doubt." (Joe Nichols)
Lots of times when I tell Porter I love him he yells at me. I think I can make lots (LOTS) of improvements in my parenting, but I think if Heavenly Father were talking to Porter in that moment when I have told him I loved him and he screams at me, He would answer him just like I do, "I do love you."
I think that's what he would say to each one of us when we feel like we don't deserve the love that is being offered....
I do love you!
Ok, so I think my 24 hour melt down is over..THANK GOODNESS. (Phew)
I think it was like a 24 hour flu bug. Do they have a shot for that? (Oh wait, I have Katie for that!!!! he he! Man she takes good care of me! I have no idea how I could have made it though this without her!)
We are getting into the swing of things. Don't be expecting any quick trips out for toilet paper or anything but spirits are back up (Again phew!) thanks for all the great continued support! This little guy is so cute. And Allori and Porter just love him. I left the room for not more than 30 seconds and Cayde was screaming bloody murder a day or two ago so I go running back in and Porter is force feeding him a dum-dum sucker. Thank you Porter for sharing. *sigh*
Allori is playing soccer. I use the word playing very loosely. lol. She is excited about it all day every day until we get to practice or a game at which point she does very little. This feels like deja vu of swim lessons and dance lessons although somehow she has fond memories of both and begs to go back and did actually learn things. At those two however, she did NOTHING! So I guess we are making progress. At Soccer a moment may hit her that she suddenly gets into it and does great for a second half of practice or 5 minutes of a game. Why oh why was she not blessed with a mother who has one iota of patience? Poor poor child.
Porter is still two. lol. Force feeding babies candy and screaming at me every chance he gets. Today he got mad at Wayne for taking him off the playground at the soccer game, we get into the car and he talks all sweety sweety to Wayne and is hitting and screaming at me. It looked like he remembered that he was mad, just simply not WHO he was mad at. I love my life. I did not say a word to him or even touch him(this time). We are seeing more and more behavior issues come out in him the older he gets. It makes me a little nervous. Not nervous to adopt him, just nervous for the energy it will take.
Once we had Jena and Juliana "diagnosed" we, or I should say I was doing weekly therapy sessions with each one, etc. etc. It takes much more one on one parenting when there are "issues." Plus it takes away time fromt he other children. This weighs heavily on my mind. At what cost is this to Allori? to Cayde? We are thinking that since Ports caretakers were mostly women that neglected him, even though he was little, he may me displacing that on me...? Plus I am the main disciplinarian (not by choice but by luck or lack of luck or because I feel I owe it to the kids or because thats how our personalities fall or some combination of the a fore mentioned) in our house. What's odd is Port thinks I am wonderful if Wayne is not around but if Wayne is there/here I am worse than dirty underwear in a dirty rain gutter. It's not the most pleasant feeling but we generally keep it in perspective. LOL
So here's what makes me nervous. We don't know if Cayde will be special needs but Porter looks more and more like he will be every day and right now Cayde certainly is. Can I be the mother to two special needs boys, both of whom I adore?
That's really a rhetorical question. There is no turning back now. (Right?) You simply cannot unlove someone once you love them. But you can feel fear. Luckily we have faith to lean on....
I love that song that says "believers have a little more faith than the world has doubt." (Joe Nichols)
Lots of times when I tell Porter I love him he yells at me. I think I can make lots (LOTS) of improvements in my parenting, but I think if Heavenly Father were talking to Porter in that moment when I have told him I loved him and he screams at me, He would answer him just like I do, "I do love you."
I think that's what he would say to each one of us when we feel like we don't deserve the love that is being offered....
I do love you!
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