She's really that big?

So Allori has been asking me for some time to go to school. She went to a preschool on fridays only for a few weeks when jena and juliana started going. But I soon realized I did not love the care she was getting and pulled her out. She says cute things like, "mom, I am still little, I need to go school." We do workbooks and I try to teach her things as we cook and garden and things like that. I try to explain things to her so she learns and asks questions and understands. But I think she really is just so ready to learn and I have known for a little while that she is really ready to go and learn....from others...and learn more about social skills, etc.

So we applied to headstart. We are over income but they told us to apply anyway. I prayed hard that she would get in. I can't afford to pay for preschool but i told myself i would have to figure it out when she didn't get in.

Well we got a call today, a Saturday! It was headstart asking if we wanted a spot in a center close to our house (she didn't realize it was so close to us.) Two people ahead of us told her no that it was too far of a drive. She had a list of seven people to call and had we not answered the phone she would have continued to call down the list.

I first feel incredibly blessed. I know my prayers were answered. Then, I feel excited for her. i know she will love it. Well, I hope she does. Then I feel a little sad. I will miss her during the day. I mean most of the days are just bland, but we have been together for 4 years. Every day. All day. I love her and I love being with her.

I asked her if she was sure she wanted to go to school or would she rather stay home with mama. She said very matter of factly but with her cute loving smile, " Noooo, everyone grows up and goes to school." Yes they do.

Please Heavenly Father, keep her safe. Watch her for me. Protect her and help me to be a support to her so she has respect for herself and others and that she will always know how important she is...who she is...that she will act accordingly. Please help her teacher to be aware of her, to care about her and to teach her well.

The boys are at respite this weekend and we planned to have a fun and relaxing day. We went to a fun dinner and then to ice cream. Allori, Wayne and I.(It's a bit torturous to go with two one year old's.) It was so nice to spend some special and quality time together. I feel like I am grieving? Is that normal?