Friday, June 27, 2008

I love this child.

Today was Allori's last day of her two week swim lesson course and for the most part, she has done very little for what they have asked her to do. Although week two was much better, she really would not let the teachers touch her, which meant not doing the floats and things like that, but she can hold her breath (with no hands) and go under water (which I think is pretty good for a 3 year old)-but the ability she has to be so stubborn and not do the other things is a bit frustrating. Well, I do not know what was different today, the last day of class, but suddenly she let Sarah, one of her teachers help her do the back float, repeatedly. YEAH! She went under water lots and did a few other things they asked and somehow graduated the class. Raising children is a strange and curious business.

The kids had a little party with the lifeguards to celebrate and get their certificates and in preparation I gave Allori some options of what she would like to bring as her contribution. She decided on Carrots and Ranch dressing and at the store we got a nice veggie tray. I could not believe how proud she was of her veggie tray. It was so funny to me. She wanted to carry it in and thats mostly what she ate (in fact, I am not sure she even ate anything else that the other kids brought (cookies, candies, fruits, etc.). When we left she asked, "Mommy, can I please carry my veggie tray?" LOL. This child is so funny. Yes, you can carry your veggie tray. I am so glad she is healthy. I had worked hard to ensure she is healthy and that she makes healthier choices than I have at times made and I LOVE that she LOVES her veggie tray! :)

Cute girl.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Busy Bees

For the past few week I have had extra kids on respites (where you keep other children for a few days to give their foster parents a little break.) We had 2 extra girls plus our three girls for the weekend (3 nights) then for the last 3 nights we had a set of 1 year old twins and their 2 1/2 year old brother, who incidentally doesn't speak. (I find it really interesting how many children in foster care have these same issues, not talking, etc.) The 2 1/2 year old we had over the weekend can talk but generally chooses not to. She can even say the abc's but will say nothing when asked for an answer. The best we can guess is she isn't spoken to very often, even in her current foster care home. Anyway, so the past few days with 6 kids 4 and under was...interesting. You gotta run it like an assembly line really. One person in the bath at a time, then the next, then the next till all 6 babies are clean.

More Questions...

I love these little conversations Allori and I are having. She is such a smart little cookie. I don't know how she even thinks to ask these things. She just this moment asked, "What is your name when you get married?"

Allori already knows both Wayne and my first and last names, our phone number, address, etc. although I am not sure she would tell anyone else. She is a bit shy. But she has the information if needed. :)

So I explained that I didn't always have this last name that when you get married you use your husbands name. She asked who she was going to marry. *laughing* oh boy.

Where did we get married mom?

The other day we were on our way to Albertson's and randomly Allori says, "Where did we get married mom?"

"When did daddy and I get married?"

"and me."

"Well, Daddy and I got married before you were born. You were still in Heaven. But Daddy and I got married in the temple in Logan Utah."

"OH! Ok."

Hmmm...Wonder where that came from. Anyway that day was 5 years ago today. (And I still like him!)

Happy Anniversary Wayno!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Leprosy Island's

So this might not be the best example but I shall use it anyway. Bear with please. I suggest with all seriousness that we find an island (heck donate a nice Hawaiian one-I don't care if they are happy, in fact I prefer that they be, just so I don't have to deal with them) and send all the stupid people there.) Yes, i understand. We may have to reverse that and keep the stupid people on the mainland and send the few of us who are NOT stupid to the island. However we decide to work it. I just don't think I want to deal with them any longer. Its nonsense-all of it. They did it with Leprosy. In fact that is an interesting story, because as it turns out, Leprosy wasn't terribly contagious, perhaps just scary? annoying? I can attest that both of these things hold true to the dumb people.

I was at a Citizen Review Board a month or so ago and this is where a group of volunteers review the foster care case at hand and hear from the parents, foster parents, social worker, casa worker (she represents the children) etc. then make recommendations to the judge hear the case. Well one of the issues in our case is this: Our girls speak English. I know, that wouldn't seem like a problem since we live in the US but their dad speaks Spanish. (He spoke not a lick of English when I met him and he is learning, but our conversations are quite strained and his conversations with the girls are extremely basic because they speak different languages.) This happened because when they got to our home they could speak about 20 words total(They were 22 month old and 3 1/2, so quite delayed)-10 English and 10 Spanish. I worked very hard to try to learn some Spanish and keep that up for the girls since that was their culture but I speak English and this is what they naturally picked up. I spoke to them, which no one else in their life took the time to do. Wayne speaks Spanish and although the girls will speak some Spanish words to us they refuse to speak Spanish to their dad-this must be trauma related, i don't know. All I know is they speak English, they are 2 and 4 and I am sure they will pick Spanish up at some point but this is not something to force. At the citizen board review one of the ladies said, "well can't you explain to them that it will be so good for them to know both languages? It will look so good on a resume."

I was dumbfounded and wondered if these people were parents of "normal" children much less any child that had any sort of "issues." These children know nothing of resumes or have any understanding of what is good for them. I answered with a simple, "That won't mean much to them, they are 2 and 4." RESUME? I am happy if we get through the day with only a handful of meltdowns for each girl and only a couple of tantrums. I am certain we aren't to resume stage. I hope someday they are together enough to have a reason to prepare a resume. That would be wonderful. That would mean they beat the odds. I hope that happens for them.

I got a letter from the board this week. They are suggesting to the judge that the girls take ESL classes. Hahahahahah. Um, English is their first language. Obviously we had a miscommunication somewhere. Why are we not helping dad learn English. Would that not be the MOST beneficial thing to do here? No, lets force the 2 year old and the 4 year to stretch a bit more. Growing up in a drug addicts home (if you can call it a home) isn't bad enough, having your mother disappear and not even try to work it out for you (they haven't seen her in a year), not be able to really speak to you father, finally be able to bond to a family but know you are leaving that family soon-none of that is enough stress for a little child, lets force them to learn a new language since dad doesn't speak English.

Also, the worker has seemingly done not a single thing toward reunifying the girls with their dad since last month except say she was going to-so we (my family and their therapist) have started preparing them because social worker said they could be home in as little as a month but here we are a month later and the TDM meeting has not even been scheduled-but hey its just people's lives. Apparently she works on the case for the hour she is at my house every month. This is highly pleasing.

So I say all the dumb...no it makes more sense for all the smart people.... go to the island. So start packing, if you get an invitation you are welcome to come. hehe. :)

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Misplaced?

....maybe some place that has cellars/basements. Not Utah. That is the most logical place-we know the most people there but I know we wouldn't be there forever, so it would only be a temporary stop and I really need to find a place to grow some roots. I thought this would be my root growing place, but no, it won't be. I'll be taking suggestions, but I need them to be creative please. I know the obvious suggestions and those likely won't work, although I would love to live next to my friends and family. If I could group them all together right on the beach with lots of green around, well then I would probably be in Heaven....well see you there someday. Also I plan for there to be Mango trees and Avocado trees galore. Yes, plentiful fruit trees and massages but no pain in the back, but still the enjoyment of the massage-ok I can dream alright. There will be blue skies, some clouds, even rain on occasion. I love a good rain storm. There won't be traffic or heat above say 80 degrees (and by the way even San Diego which has near perfect whether has hotter days than that.) There will be minimal fat, minimal addictions-meaning people will still get to have fun things they enjoy, like a plethora of chapstick or whatever (thus the mangos and avacados, hehe).

Anyway, back to where we will move. I will have to really pin down our goals and see when we will be moving. Thinking back the 2 1/2 + years we have been in Albuquerque have flown by, so even if it takes us that long to be ready to move, I suppose thats not too long, plus then it will be better to sell our house having owned it around 5 years. (Or maybe we rent it.)

When I was in college, I knew to the date when I would be finished. I figured and re figured and found classes that would not only count or double count but sometimes fulfill three requirements in the general education area so that by the end I was taking fluff classes in my major that were much more enjoyable to me. Some of the funnest ones were Japanese Calligraphy that I had with my very sweet friend, Makayla. It was quite therapuetic. Oddly I got "best handwriting" in that class. I think the only reason I still remember that is because I can't even write in English very well-seriously. (Was I misplaced? hehe) Well, I just don't have very nice handwriting anyway. Another, really fun one was a summertime month long sculpture class. Our first project was to sculpt something out of Styrofoam (so you started larger than you would end up and scraped away the parts you didn't want.) I made a giant Seashell. I loved that silly Shell.

So, yes we have some things to finish up here I think and then off we go.

So, any suggestions?

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Call of the..wild?

So I am feeling the call of a new home. My put my brothers on a plane to Chicago a couple of weeks ago and my parents were headed to the same destination about a week ago, all with one way tickets. My sister lives there. They moved here with us, so that wasn't the reason we came here...and it wouldn't be honest to say it wasn't a bit of a chore having them close by, but boy has it torn me up sending them off. I just plain miss them.

We came here (to Albuquerque) for Wayne's work which has become unstable. That's his families business. It has the potential to be a fantastic company but they make some detrimental management and financial errors so I/we fear it will only be a matter of time until it goes belly up.

I thought we would be planting roots here but this week I feel the urge to pack it up again and choose another new adventure. I would like to live somewhere pretty again. Albuquerque has been fine for us and I do enjoy our little house and feel incredibly blessed to have it...but I never felt like this was our forever home and maybe just maybe it will be a shorter stay than I thought. I really would love to live somewhere near water or somewhere green or ...both! (We have planted grass in our yard twice and have only spotty grass, the dirt/sand is so bad. Most people don't even bother with grass and just put in rocks here unless its a new subdivision and its sod.)

So I think we will hang out a couple more years and meet a couple more of our goals, do a few more things then choose a new place to explore. This pleases me for lots of reasons. I really don't want Allori going through the school system here. New Mexico isn't known for it's quality of education.

I asked Wayne today where he thought we might go and if he even felt similarly to me on this subject. He said, "Somewhere cooler (good, its generally cool by the water), somewhere with a maid (totally fine by me, that just means he needs a pretty good job I guess)...Hawaii." OK, so we are on the same page pretty much. I was thinking east, he is thinking way farther west than we have been before. I could go for that. More practically it would probably depend on where he got a job, but of course you can be selective about where you apply.

Hmmm....a couple of years is a looonnnggggg time to plan/dream/hope/wonder. But it gives me time to downsize and prepare I suppose.

Friday, June 6, 2008

My little Allori....


My digital camera started to work funny a while ago so I went back to my film camera-I know, so stone age, and I plan to get a decent digital one soon, but I found a couple pictures on my computer of Allori, they are not recent and I think one of my sisters took them on a visit some time ago, but they are awfully cute. Some of you have not even seen her so I thought I would share. She of course is much more grown up now so she will look totally different when I get recent ones up, but these are just so sweet to me. Allori must have been a little over two in this first picture cause her crib had been turned into a daybed. (She is 3 1/2 this month.) When this picture was taken she took her babies everywhere and did everything with them so having 4 (or more) in bed with her was a very usual occurrence. They each were named and quite loved and cared for.