Cayde 2

Two Fridays ago, Wayne and I got into the car to go to the Labor and Delivery Triage for the third time in 15 days. (I never go the ER or the like cause I hate the wait and the lack of help it generally brings, some things excluded i.e. to cast a broken bone or stitch a wound. so for me to go, things really must have felt not right.) Within 50 minutes they had me admitted and moved over to labor and delivery, blood work ordered, I had already spoken with 6 or 7 specialists and Wayne and I were getting nervous. It showed in our eyes but we tried to keep conversation light.

It was at this point, that the lab lady asked for them to get me an ID bracelet (not sure how we missed that step) and she drew the first set of about 30 or 40 sets of blood over the next week. My arms feel like pin cushions. Then look like they were brutally attacked from all sides, like they fought the good fight...and lost. Every blood draw took 2-3 sticks. Veins were used multiple times, they called in rapid response and used a sonogram machine to find veins and even sonogram guy (who was completely inappropriate and made me feel like I needed to mention "my husband" just so everyone was clear!) couldn't get it. Vials of blood were drawn from finger sticks and lengthy squeezing sessions. (I had never seen that one before! The remnant bruises of sonogram blood guys attempts are by far the ugliest. The bruises are a visual reminder of how my body failed me, of how my body failed my son.

Cayde 1

On Friday, Cayde peed on me. For just a moment things felt normal-ish. The nurse and I scrambled to clean him (and me) up. I got to lift him up for the first time. He was light as a feather. (I have been able to change his diaper several times although we have not been able to hold him yet. Any small amount of contact feels like a blessing.)

I know this is not the story you are waiting to hear. It will come in bits and pieces.

Siblings

I have two brothers. Did you know that? Let me tell you about my siblings. I am....aging. I have two twin sisters that are aging at a rate of 4 years less than me. Then we have our much younger brothers. Jacob is 15 and is soo his own person. Jordan is 13 and is funny and growing into who he is. I adore them. I adore my sisters too. We have spoken with our parents about what an interesting dychotomy we have in our family. We all get along really well. We come together to deal with family matters. We lean on and support one another. Because of the age difference, my brothers really ended up with about 4 moms. (Or one mom and 3 over bearing sisters. Whatever you feel comfortable with. lol.) I talk to my sisters nearly daily, a few times a week at least. I love having this kind of relationship with my siblings. We are all different and we all adore one another.

Anyway, my little brudders came in yesterday. They will be staying with us for a month. Yeah! Allori was beside herself waiting on them. lol. It feels just like normal to have them here. I am grateful to have them visiting us and will update and show you their handsome faces throughout the month.